When mothers want to kill the little dignity in their children, they(mothers) hide behind love… they try all they could to convince the child that their demeaning act was for the child’s good… and with a kiss they destroy the inner esteem of their most beloved possession…their child.
Take me for an example; I am sure God did not create me this way because these days I can do stupid things without shame, I can say foolish things with a straight face and somehow I can link all these abnormalities to what Mama did to me out of love.
“Ozioma come and show them your penis” she ordered me.
“Mama biko nu” I pleaded but my plea fell on deaf ears, Mama had concluded that no matter how I beg on that day, I must show my penis to 4 uncles and my aunty who were anxiously waiting to see the only part I call private.
“Are you ashamed?” Papa Obiora Okolo asked me…as if I had no right to protect the only reason I wear dress. My eyes rested on Mama, who was the only person that could ‘let the cup pass me by’…but she kept a straight face
“Nna” Papa Chike Amamchukwu softly said “remove your pants let’s see”
With shame, I covered my face and gradually drifted towards the dining area of our sitting room. Mama became impatient and moved closer to me,
“It is for your good” She said “besides what are you hiding. I believe this will teach you to be careful next time”
It took her less than 20 seconds to shred the last dignity in me…and I appeared totally naked…naked in front of all our guests.
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Climbing a tree was an art I was born with, maybe I inherited it from Obiako Ugulu, my grandfather who was a palm wine tapper… this wonderful expertise of mine earned me respect in the street…
“The only fruit Ozii Baba cannot pluck” the street kids would say “is a fruit the eyes had not seen but if the fruit is visible, Ozii Baba can pluck it”
I was barely 10years old and Mama was never in support of this great skill. She had tried all she could to cure me of the craze as she called it…but I ‘no send’ her, she was jealous… yes, jealous because I was getting all the attention. She forgot that there are things she could not alter..even Dibia, the native doctor, can only cure what someone contracted but would be powerless to what runs in one’s vein. Mama was blind to know that I was born a climber and even cursed me.
“One day you must surely fall from a tree” She cursed “And the only thing I would be telling you is ‘Nnaa ndo’ but the pains would be yours alone”
Her prophesy manifested one sunny Saturday afternoon… on the day I mistakenly stepped on a dead branch and fell from a guava tree.. I had bruises all over my body but the one that gave Mama the most concern was the bruises that were close to the meeting of my thighs.
Papa would have handled it better but he travelled to Lagos…and the best Mama could do was to call an emergency compound meeting with a singular agenda…to destroy the only dignity left in me
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So I stood naked before our guests…mama pushed me towards them and with my palm I carried my ‘equipment’ and did nothing else but to show them.
As I cupped my scrotum and served my dignity, one by one, to the guests who took time to shift my stick from one side to the other and went to the extent of inspecting my 10year old balls, it became clear to me why University of Nigeria Nsukka adopted – ‘To Restore The Dignity of Man’ – as their slogan.
It is possible that down in the history someone did have a similar experience. Perhaps, someone in the past might have had his dignity crushed just like Mama did mine..
Mind of An Essayist 